Next Agenda Item: Schedule Time for Self

by Carolyn Bessette, M.D.

Our schedules are squeezed every which way by the demands of work, family, community and social obligations, housework and more. We know how far we can push our spouses, children, bosses and friends when a sudden emergency pops up and we need a little extra time to save the day. What we as women seldom seem to recognize is how far we can push ourselves—and when it’s time to stop pushing and insist on some down time so we can relax and revive.

When you have no time for yourself, your stress levels just keep rising. You are more likely to develop the physical manifestations of stress—headaches, insomnia, racing heartbeat, irritability, anxiety, depression, digestive disruptions, stomach ulcers. You may burn out at work. At home you may begin to feel resentment and anger, or a loss of identity. Suddenly you are no longer your interesting self but a servant to people and causes outside you. Your attitude about your schedule can also have an impact. If everything must be perfect, and you must do it all yourself, and you’re so tightly scheduled that the least challenge causes everything to spin out of control, then your perspective is contributing to your stress experience.

Fortunately, you can change your stress level with a few fairly simple actions. First, decide that your “me time” is a priority for you. It cannot be disrupted by extra work projects, places family members suddenly need to go or anything else. Your “me time” can actually improve your health by reducing stress. We know this intuitively—40% of women surveyed in 2005 by the National Women’s Health Resource Center cited “reducing stress” and “more time to take care of myself” as the things that would most improve their health. They’re right—so what can we all do to enforce our “me time” and make the most of it?

My favorite “me time” is spent in the bath. It’s simple and fast, and a relaxing bath reboots your brain and body by letting stress drain away and letting calm and clarity take its place. Baths are a great time for reflection, and going into the bathroom and shutting the door sends a message to the family that for the next 15 minutes you are not to be disturbed. The warm water of the bath and the beneficial effect of bath additives combine to produce a real change in your mindset, which leaves you better able to return to your daily challenges.

But no matter how helpful and soothing baths are, they can’t help if you don’t take them. Get out your calendar and decide when your “me time” should be. Choose a time when your responsibilities are fewer and the likelihood of privacy is greater. Make it a time that you will reliably be home, so you can use the same time each week, because habit is a very important reinforcer of good behaviors. Let the people you live with know that you will be unavailable at your chosen time—and stick to it. Your break should be non-negotiable. You deserve it.

Dr. Carolyn Bessette is founder of BathRx, Inc. She can be reached at bathrx.com